Great news!!!! After the IPCC released its latest update on climate change research yesterday, the Koch Brothers, ALEC and Heartland held a press conference to announce their about face on this issue.
Calling it the most important challenge of our time, they said that rather than continue to fight the science and on-the-ground evidence of the changing climate, they would support the shift to renewable energy and would no longer push tar sands oil on us.
And this just in from the Center for Biological Diversity:
New Species of Koch Brother Discovered – Possesses Beating
Human Heart
Scientists have reportedly discovered an entirely new subspecies of Homo sapiens: a Koch Brother that has a living, beating human heart, a functional brain, and even what appears, on early examination, to be a moral compass.
"We’ve never seen a Koch Brother like this before," says Harvard
mammalogist Jim Peterson. "It’s simply something that none of us expected
to encounter. Who knows what a subspecies like this could give to the world? We
have to be careful to conserve these creatures. A Koch Brother with a
functioning heart and mind isn’t just worth keeping for its intrinsic value; it
could turn out to be the source of a scientific breakthrough. It might provide
a key medicine in the future, such as a cure for gout, or have something to
teach us about how Republicans first learned to walk erect."
The Koch Brother with brain and heart has been named by its discoverer, as is
the taxonomic tradition (Kochbrotherus anomalus). Like so many newly
discovered flora and fauna of the past, it is being kept at the Smithsonian
National Museum of Natural History, where it can be compared via DNA analysis
to other related specimens in the collection. It floats in formaldehyde wearing
its native gray pinstriped suit.
APRIL Fools!!
Loading...
A cruel but very well played joke!